Success.

I don't make enough money.

My grades aren't as great as I'd like.

I'm not super amazing at any sports.


I don't feel successful sometimes. But, I still have this insanely conceited idea that my idea of success is right, and the way the world views success is wrong. I'm right. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Success is being content, yet challenging yourself to be better. It's having meaningful relationships. It's not being in overwhelming debt (emotionally, financially, whatever.)

I know I'm continually saying this, but I really have been blessed with some amazing friends. I keep rediscovering how great some of my old friends are, and realizing people that I thought I barely knew, really are fantastic friends as well.

Money and grades... well.. those are two aspects of my life that are very much necessary, but I'd rather do without. I feel like my homeschooling background has given me an overinflated sense of intelligence, and the view that the traditional educational system is flawed, and therefore cannot measure my academic ability or growth. I don't always believe in school. I don't really believe in homework. I much prefer self study. Not because it's assigned, but because I want to. I LOVE finding something that interests me and then researching the topic with nerdish delight. I wish I had more time for my self study endeavors. I suppose that's why I'm looking forward to getting to upper level classes and eventually grad school... I feel as though there is some hope there for my academic independence.

Oh, and mathematics can just go die in a pit and be eaten by rabid wolves. Just my opinion though.

Right now, I would just very much like to have a better perspective on where I am, what I'm doing, and whether I'm wasting time and effort on things that don't matter.

I know I need to make a conscious effort to spend time around those God has placed in my life with superior life experience and wisdom, namely my parents and some of my older or wiser friends. I feel like I have so little time for the people that really matter to me. I need to find a way to make time, because they are vitally important to my long term success, as overrated and irrational as it is.