Sunday, April 18, 2010

USC acceptance letter and goals

So, I forgot to update you folks, but pretty much everyone on Facebook and Twitter knows... but just in case you missed it...

I got my USC acceptance letter! I'm so excited, I cannot wait to start this new stage in life and my educational career. I am ready to be challenged academically again, and actually be more interested in what I'm studying.

In the meantime, I've got a MOUNTAIN of paperwork, tests, dates, schedules, and information to go over and organize. I've got this Microsoft program called OneNote, and it's amazing, it helps me organize everything, and even add events attached to my Outlook which syncs up with my phone... which.. is just amazing for my schedule obsessed mega busy OCD self :D

Something new in my life recently has been working out. I know most people work out, but I have never in my life put a conscious effort into exercise or fitness. I've been trying to go to the gym 3 times a week for about 2hrs each time, and fit in more physical activities day to day. A year ago I could hardly run a block, now I can do about 2.5 at a good fast pace. I know that's nothing, but for me, that's a huge step. Oh, and asthma sucks majorly. Just sayin'

Part of getting in better shape for me is because my life is crazy, and I hate being tired. I've got a short term goal of getting in better shape before a 3 day backpacking trip I'm taking with Travis, our dads, and some friends. I definitely don't want to be the weakest link, seeing as I might be the only girl, and probably in the poorest shape.

Another goal is I'd like to get in better shape for my family's 2 week vacation/reunion trip to California in early June. I just want to be able to run around, look great (well, even better ;) and have plenty of energy. I'm so excited to see all of our cousins, and just have a great summer vacation.

A slightly further off goal is the Mud Run. There's a team of folks doing it from my church, some friends of mine are also, and the smack talk has already begun. I can't let the old foogies outrun me, now can I? I'm so excited to finally do it. Travis and I are starting a training schedule, and we're going to team up with our friends Kyle and Lance, who are both doing the same P90X workout regime. I've seen the CDs and books that come with it, and it's intense!

That's all for now, just sort of a random post about what's going on, and some things that are coming up. Sort of a vanity post, if you ask me... but oh well.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I hate this word.

I hate the word "fat".

There is no such thing as "fat". You cannot be fat. You can be unhealthy.

I hate seeing girls think that they're fat. It makes me so sad, to see girls so worried about being thin, skinny, bony, model-like, whatever. I've been "thin" all of my life. That's just how I was genetically wired. I was a bean pole until about 17, I gained 20lbs in a year. I have been called skinny, slim, and scrawny. And you know what? That isn't so great either. I often felt like I made those around me feel bad about their bodies.

We need to stop making comparisons. God made each and every one of us different and unique. We're different, because if there was an exact copy of us, why would we be here?

Stop making body comparisons. You do not need to look like a model, you do not need to look like your friend, older sister, or that cool lady down the street. You should look like you, whatever your healthiest version is.

I do NOT want to hear about how you've lost weight if you're already young and healthy. It's not ok, I cannot stand seeing already slim girls worry about a number. Unless your DOCTOR tells you that you should lose weight to be healthier, don't try to.

Aim for health, vitality, well being, not being 115lbs.

Oh, and fellas, this applies to you too. Except, it seems boys are more concerned with muscle mass. You do not need to work relentlessly to achieve 6 pack abs. It doesn't impress us.

Be healthy, be the best that God and your genetics allow you to be. Stop worrying about what other people say.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


I just finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction" and as it was a very sort of literary movie, it put me in a rather sort of literary mood.

What is the most important thing in your life? Don't say God. Most people proclaiming to be Christians will say God, but their lives will show you quite the contrary.

Honestly answer.

Is it school?
Are you hung up on grades and constantly studying anxiously awaiting the return of that last paper to see if it will lower your precious GPA?

Is it your job? Are you worried about TPS reports, margins, returns, new leads, or whatever it is that is the business in your business? Are you constantly worried about your performance, whether your boss will see your effort, your shining success, and promote you, recognize your amazing and completely unique talents?

Are you concerned with people? Do you always wonder how your friends relationships are, how your mother's gardening club is coming along? How your daughter's bully problem at school is?

What worries you? What consumes your thought processes and time? What do you spend your day thinking about?

Is it worth it? Do we need to worry about these things?

I don't know.

I don't think it's wrong to worry about any of these things. In moderation. I have a tendency to think too much. I think about every little possibility. Every variable. Everything that could happen, probably won't happen, and undoubtedly will happen. I think. A lot. It hurts my brain. It causes me stress.

Stop. I need to stop thinking. I need to trust that God can control what needs to be controlled in my life. He's gotten me this far, I need to learn to just chill the flip out and let him deal with it. He deals with 6.6 BILLION lives on this planet each and every day. I'm sure he's capable of managing my meager existence.

I need to trust.

It always goes back to trust. I need to trust that God has his own priorities for my life, and that I will get done what he wants me to get done. Nothing less. Nothing more.

Trust God, to figure out my priorities. So simple, yet I manage to all too often ignore that option.

It's time I start paying attention to that option, it isn't an option, it's the only way to live.

Monday, March 15, 2010


I don't make enough money.

My grades aren't as great as I'd like.

I'm not super amazing at any sports.

I don't feel successful sometimes. But, I still have this insanely conceited idea that my idea of success is right, and the way the world views success is wrong. I'm right. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Success is being content, yet challenging yourself to be better. It's having meaningful relationships. It's not being in overwhelming debt (emotionally, financially, whatever.)

I know I'm continually saying this, but I really have been blessed with some amazing friends. I keep rediscovering how great some of my old friends are, and realizing people that I thought I barely knew, really are fantastic friends as well.

Money and grades... well.. those are two aspects of my life that are very much necessary, but I'd rather do without. I feel like my homeschooling background has given me an overinflated sense of intelligence, and the view that the traditional educational system is flawed, and therefore cannot measure my academic ability or growth. I don't always believe in school. I don't really believe in homework. I much prefer self study. Not because it's assigned, but because I want to. I LOVE finding something that interests me and then researching the topic with nerdish delight. I wish I had more time for my self study endeavors. I suppose that's why I'm looking forward to getting to upper level classes and eventually grad school... I feel as though there is some hope there for my academic independence.

Oh, and mathematics can just go die in a pit and be eaten by rabid wolves. Just my opinion though.

Right now, I would just very much like to have a better perspective on where I am, what I'm doing, and whether I'm wasting time and effort on things that don't matter.

I know I need to make a conscious effort to spend time around those God has placed in my life with superior life experience and wisdom, namely my parents and some of my older or wiser friends. I feel like I have so little time for the people that really matter to me. I need to find a way to make time, because they are vitally important to my long term success, as overrated and irrational as it is.